Mighty Merchandisin Power Rangers

By Benjamin Law

Because of my 12-year-old man-child proportions, it’s not often I get to buy clothes straight off the rack. So, when recently visiting my local vintage clothing shop, I was thrilled to find a bone-fide, authentic, mid-90s Mighty Morphin Power Rangers t-shirt — and in my size, no less! It was the real deal, not one of those purposely weathered Jay-Jay’s imitations that make my soul cry out in despair.

No, this was a genuinely weathered combination of cotton and polyester that yielded to the touch. It was incredibly soft, as though it had been beaten by rocks in a river of Pantene conditioner, or the tears of baby lambs. In short, it was perfect. The best thing was that it only contained the five original power rangers: black (mastadon); pink (pterodactyl); blue (triceratops), yellow (sabre-toothed tiger) and red (tyrannosaurus). All this perfection for only thirty dollars.

Nerd Gone Cold Turkey

By Nathanael Jeanneret

I, being a stranger in your town, and originating from over the seas, knew that someday I would feel the pull of my homeland. To wit, I have recently moved home to Tasmania.

I was offered a job down here, and I wanted to have a chance to try a bit of a change of pace and lifestyle. Why is this relevant to you? In my enthusiasm, I packed up my worldly belongings, and the day I moved out, I rang up my ISP and had my internet disconnected.

Severed, it seems, would have been a more appropriate choice of words. Almost immediately I felt the need to log on and check the weather, get shoddy street directions and look at amusing pictures of cats.

When Star Trek Isn’t Awesome

By Mia Timpano

Because Star Trek: TNG is the greatest franchise, not just of Star Trek, but of anything whatsoever of all time, it’s easy to forget just how many episodes of this series actually blow.

Let’s take a random example: the episode “Lonely Among Us”. It’s a typical day on the Enterprise when they pass through some gas and pick up a sentient being, which becomes trapped in the ship’s circuitry, and somehow breaks down the ship’s helm. When the sentient being leaves the helm’s console, the helm completely recovers power, leaving Wesley to ask LaForge, “Hey, what gives with the helm recovering power for no reason whatsoever?” To which LaForge says, “Yeah, whatever.” Hmm, thank you Chief Engineer Brain Squad, remind me to ask you nothing ever again.

Love & Death in Competitive Speedcubing

By Clementine Ford

Speed-cubing — the “sport” in which nerds solve Rubik’s cubes as fast as humanly possible — has become so elite that serious competitions are now regularly held around the world. And when I say “competitions” I don’t just mean some fatboys who meet on the internet to compare times.

2006 alone saw competitors flock to the Spanish Open, the German Open, Japan Open, Canadian Open, Idaho Open, Florida Open, the Osaka Rubik’s Cube Contest, the French National Championship, the US Open, the Swedish Open, the Italian Open, the Wroclaw Open and then the mother of them all: The World Rubik’s Cube Championship (WRCC).